time

Time did not stop for us

I remember your arms holding me, like a star holds its planets, like the skin holds its organs

But, as it turned out, I could live without you

And how long since then… was it years ago, was it yesterday

What if in this single life I only get to have had you

Fear corrodes me, as if my heart’s been exposed for too long

[This is not what I said the other day

My mind changes second after second and I cannot hide

I cannot avoid the waves that come and go,

much like an ocean that wanted to cradle itself to sleep, my mind changes incessantly… 

perhaps betting to confusion, perhaps betting to shallowness]

Perhaps we were too much

Too much for one life…

What if justice does exist in this strange, shapeless form and one who has had too much must then have very little

What then

Should I be able to go back, would I take less from you just to be able to have more of him now?

You were the sun you always said I deserved, and I think you knew that

We served and deserved each other, an exquisite plate of flavors traveling beneath the tongue, into the brain, to satisfy the heart

But time did not stop

And now you are gone  

And I breathe you every day

And I love you every second

But now, perhaps, 

it's time to love and be loved again

V

inviolate

this

residual adoration that besmirches my dreams and depraves my reason

a transitory love, an unfading infatuation

dainty desire to submerge in a subconscious…

no sight is ever so illusive and yet so intimate

faceless, skinless

it is holding hands, inadvertently

a common idea, common friends, a mutual end… 

a world apart

a reciprocal relationship between intruders

the morbid satisfaction of a solitary game played by two

(his ghosts are my loot)

to each letter, to each tune… my estranged surrender

a misty love born in darkness, yet unremitting

... it's carved my heart

this love that I’ll betray

deep

That afternoon, he smiled and said: “I want to show you something.”


As we walked, he told me a story


He knows I like it when he tells me stories of pretty girls and violent deaths... His voice soothes me


He began, “you never know what you can find behind a door...


"It is always wise to stay outside lest you find yourself in the cold company of your worst fear.”




The sun was setting. Soft rays of light fought to reach us through the swaying branches


The forest loved us and welcomed our presence every Fall by raining golden leaves on us


I didn't know where he was taking me; I stopped paying attention to the road when he held my hand


-You know you love someone when you don't care about getting lost. Being lost seems somehow impossible when you are with each other-






“...but, like You," -he continued, poking my nose- "she was too curious for her own good and, discarding every warning, she entered the old door...


“Before her eyes, the most monstrous scene she could ever think of: Her own death. 


"In the center of the dark room, a canvas of immense proportions. It was beautifully painted by the masterful -and bloody- hands of her lover. His corpse was laying next to his masterpiece.”



The shadow of a smile crossed his face. “This is it.”


We were at the same river we both knew well but in a spot I had never been at before.


It was a beautiful green river... Large, deep, fast. We used to lay by it and speak of the wondrous creatures that (improbably) inhabited the depth of its waters.


“How far do you dare to go?”


He took off his shoes and offered me his hand. “Come with me”


The water was cold


He was no longer smiling. His eyes were fixed in mine.


My feet soon lost touch with the bottom of the river and I felt its current pulling me down...


Without saying a word, I closed my eyes... The peace of letting yourself go.


It was then when I felt his hand grab mine stronger and pull me towards him.


Once out, he stared at me, as in deep wonder: “You could have died. Are you willing to let me do this to you?”

“No." I smiled. "I'd die for you but I wouldn't let you kill me. Have you ever wondered why I love you?”

"Because I'm pretty?" he teased.

“...because it doesn't matter how deep you take me, you wouldn't let me drown.”

“We could have both drowned...”

“Such is love.”

crowded

My feelings were for long of my own

I felt alone

I felt unique

but they came with all their mirrors

I feel crowded

I feel raped

I can't find myself anymore

ours

The world is Ours to burn

he the fire, me the wind that swirls & fuels

we annihilate the ordinary

we dance in clouds of ash

our music, you’ll breathe

we’re the light at the end of your sanity

in our sweet devastation's darkness

you will finally see

Go mad, everyone, go mad!

be as crazy as we are

...and exist again

feel the wind in my eyes

suffer the red of his heart

die sweetly by our hands

...and exist again

eternally

on fire

frozen

a picture can be what it takes for a heart to tremble 
and a world to shake

an instant flies by and future finds me lost in pixels

drowning in a river of shades like that mighty horse on quicksand

Brightness&Contrast reach out for my memories...

strike them against the walls of my skull

it is my blurred vision of you behind the glass...

a moment that should be forgotten, frozen in time

I cannot tear you into shreds 


but I close you 

forever 

as I close this tab

boundless

 

she threw herself at the Universe

and drifted away

among the stars

freedom invaded her soul

boundless landscapes

Unicorns

made of Cosmic dust

she danced

motionless

to the song of galaxies

vibrating eternally

alone she was

but ever felt so warmly embraced

eyes closed

happiness gripped her by the throat

as a black hole shattered her body

into a zillion pieces of stardust

                                

i want it all

all I want is You

I close my eyes and see your ghost

even when I kiss them, 


I close my eyes to dream~ Because

it is You trespassing my eyelids~ Because

it is You taking me beyond

I wish you'd drag me to your abyss and kiss me til I burn

~~

...how does it feel? 

How does it feel to be a goddamn King in a forbidden realm?

what I want is the grip of Your hands 

long fingers, like snakes, wanting to devour me

wanting to creep along my body-scratch it-hurt it...

...inflict the sweetest pain a woman could ever feel

I want your guns

your precious monsters

I want your darkness

your anger

your coldness

your sweetness

your fucking dont's...

I want it all 

                

heaven in hell

So I’m that borderline between heaven and hell...

It scares you that I dare

to write you out and cut the fragile thread that keeps you sane

There's no greater abyss than that which separates your thoughts from your words~

you speak because you know-I know what you are thinking when you hush

But I can feel the goosebumps raising in your skin when you hear my voice 

across the silence of distance

But there’s your sight running away at night

much too scared of seeing me in the stars~

and there’s the cornered chaos of your mind foretelling you a storm

yet craving for its twist~

and there’s your body forever enslaved by my whims

In Your Nightmares, I’m Your Dream

              

junkies

now we are safe, it is OK to pretend the fear is gone

now we cannot touch each other, it is fine to outwit the distance

like Souls that crave to submerge in the Sea

but wait for the waves to draw back before walking towards the water

we blow open the stitches of our wounds on purpose 

and bleed out hope

as if we were unable to live without pain

or perhaps pretending we cannot live without each other

the walls of Time keep closing on Us

mocking at our inability to move, 

as they tighten

we are just deathlines junkies

            

ahead and beyond

My steps on the sand, still humid, leave a mark that vanishes with time.


Once strong and deep, my footprints are now forgotten in the Past, removed by the many waves that crash onto the shore.


Same water that washes my feet. Same water that washes the sand so I can make new prints as I move forward.


Turning back makes no sense. I want new, I want fresh. I want ahead.


Sun hides, in red flames, behind the ocean. It looks ashamed, like a coward, as if it wanted to put out its fire.


But I know the truth.


Sun refuses to shine on the same reality twice. It moves and keeps its flames for a new Present.


I remain in its Past but I am also its Future.


The greens of the Mountain contrasts and compete with the blues of the Sea. Mountain cradles the beach. It is its mother just as well as its enemy.


At the strike of Rain, a vomit of dirt comes down the Mountain to die on the beach, poisoning it.


I can hear its terrifying roar as I walk.
I can feel the waves foretelling the intoxication, preparing to fight back.
I can see the Sun attempting to hide it all by taking away its Light.


It all happens around me, and it all happens inside of me.


Nature is at war. And so I am.


Only the Stars will bring us peace. Or a truce.


The Ocean will rise with the Moon, and fiercely sway, back and forth, to cleanse itself.


A cleaner ocean, a cleaner mountain, a cleaner sky. Nature is wise.


Soon, I will no longer care about my footprints. I’ll look up and a shooting star will make me forget that I am walking. Even that I am on Earth.


I will become everything I see, once and for all.


My soul, set free by the starred dark, will too fly wiser after the war.




V

empathic

I can feel You. When you laugh, when you cry inside... 

It's so pleasant, It's so painful

I feel them all. It is why I sometimes prefer to be alone

See, it just comes to me. I'm helpless before so many sensations, 

left to learn which are theirs and which my own

I'm too often overwhelmed. It becomes hard to speak

When I take someone in, those I pick, very carefully indeed, 
it's because they are songs: Harmony of Chaos singing to my soul

They aren't a few. So many wonderful creatures have this planet
Yet, the one closer is he who rocks me stronger, inspiring all my words

Your Voice, so easy to identify; your feelings come to me in gales of pleasure and joy and pain and anger and passion, 
and make me want to dance

Amidst the chaos, You are the one who owns my heart




                    

whim of my dreams

 No words to describe how inconceivable you are

I think of you and watch the Sea evaporate in form of nails

bursting the clouds, bleeding snow over infinite deserts 

You are a whim of my dreams,

irresponsible nightmares begging to stop being stones in my way

My fantasies do not hesitate,

they want to follow you

my skin longs to get rid of me and run toward your purple haze

... ignorant soul of mine, claiming to own your kiss

No dream was ever so beautiful

But no dream was ever so impossible to be

                                                     

Arise

If I am beautiful to your eyes, as long as I don’t move

If I am smart to you only when I’m in silence

If you can't draw my face but when your eyes don’t see me

If my presence is too much for you to handle

I don’t want you. I quit needing you.

My fantasies are the Sea in which you’ll drown

My skin will be a long forgotten tumb in your cemetery

Our playful Passion will become cold wax of dullness, 
covering you entirely

The map of your lips, made by mine, will fly in pieces 
as you break down

                                                  

masquerade

I don’t care to see the real You. I don’t mean to own You

The Truth in your darkness

and the sexiness of your passionate Character

are the highest skies I’ve ever flown through

At the sight of your Mask, my Soul dyes in bliss

It’s growing inside, the Lust, the I Want’s

But it is not your Face I am trying to reach

I demand You to let me drown in the emptiness of your words

I crave to creep into the obscenity of the Nothing

That You, oh, so kindly offer to World

A Nothing, that may be nought for Them, and still I yearn to own

                                              

Qi

In traditional Chinese culture, Qi (Ch'i) is an active principle forming part of any living thing.

It is frequently translated as "energy flow," and is often compared to Western notions of energeia or élan vital (vitalism) as well as the yogic notion of prana. The literal translation is "air," "breath," or "gas" (compare the original meaning of Latin spiritus "breathing"; or the Common Greek πνεῦμα, meaning "air," "breath," or "spirit"; and the Sanskrit term prana, "breath").

Source: Wikipedia.         

  

Qigong

Qigong (or ch'i kung) is an internal Chinese meditative practice that often uses slow graceful movements and controlled breathing techniques to promote the circulation of qi within the human body, and enhance a practitioner's overall health. (Source: Wikipedia)

We live in a field of qi, "vital breath" or "life energy." Yet, like a fish in water or a bird in flight, we are unaware of the medium that supports us. Qigong means "working with the qi." It is the ancient Chinese art and science of becoming aware of this life energy and learning how to control its flow through a precise choreography of posture, movement, respiratory technique, and meditation. Like biofeedback, qigong teaches psychophysiological self-regulation; the student becomes aware of bodily functions conventionally considered involuntary-- blood pressure, respiratory rate, even the flow of blood and nutrients to internal organs-- and learns to restore a healthier balance. However, unlike biofeedback, no technical devices are needed. Qigong is one of the most cost-effective self-healing methods in the world. 

Qigong is like a great river fed by four major tributaries: shamanism, spirituality, medicine, and martial arts... (Source: Qigong Research and Practice Center.) 

Complete article : http://www.qigonghealing.com/qigong/qigong.html

her story

She walked, and walked. And she could hear the delicious sound of leaves crushing under her feet.

A cold, silver drop of water fell on her chest, almost reaching the neckline of her isabelline dress. She thought it was the start of rain only a second before she realized that it came from her forehead. Yes, she was sweating. It wasn’t due to the warm weather, though, or the pace at which she walked. She was nervous. Her expectations had grown over the past few days to the point of being barely bearable.

She looked up and couldn’t find the blue. Golden leaves were still hanging from hundreds of tangled branches; brown dry branches that refused to stop hitting each other. “A war of trees,” she thought. “At least they still hold on to one another...”

At the sight of grass, her heart started to race. She was approaching, finally, the end of the woods and the beginning of the park. A beam of light blinded her. It was a reflection from the pond. She stopped.

- What am I doing? –She whispered, bent on herself, her hands on her knees, while trying to breathe. –This is wrong... this is so wrong...

 A tear ran down her cheek.

The wind messed with her dress and her perfumed hazel hair as she stood up straight again. An unexpected refreshment ran through her soul. They say this happens when you are about to die.

Dying not always means the end of life.

Standing at the threshold of the park and with her eyes half-closed, she gazed at the other side of the small lake. A person was walking slowly, as if in a stroll, looking around.

She gave a few steps forward and now the 5 o'clock sunlight completely soaked her. The light green of the grass and deep green of the water mixed inevitably to form a sour smell that broke in through her nostrils. But nothing kept her from noticing that he had stopped and was staring at her. She started to tremble...

“At last.” He thought.

 

To be continued... maybe.

Raven Night

(Raven Woman by Roy Purcell)                                            

     Raven Night 

     by Hagalaz' Runedance

Lost in the neon twilight
I feel my nature waking inside
Would you look towards me?
Would you dare to enter the
threshold to my mind?

Can you see me dancing?
A silent voice singing for you
Hear my Raven call
Would you be enchanted and follow me?

Lost is but a dream fading
And soon I'm calling out again
Would you come to release me?
Would you tear the icy chains from my skin?