March 4, 2013

time






Time did not stop for us

I remember your arms holding me, like a star holds its planets, like the skin holds the organs

But, as it turned out, I could live without you

And how long since then… was it years ago, was it yesterday

What if in this single life I only get to have had you

Fear corrodes me, as if my heart’s been exposed for too long


This is not what I said the other day

My mind changes second after second and I cannot hide

I cannot avoid the waves that come and go,

much like an ocean that wanted to cradle itself to sleep, my mind changes incessantly… 

perhaps betting to confusion, perhaps betting to shallowness


Perhaps we were too much

Too much for one life…

What if justice does exist in this strange, shapeless form and one who has had too much must then have very little

What then

Should I be able to go back, would I take less from you just to be able to have more of him now?


You were the sun you always said I deserved, and I think you knew that

We served and deserved each other, an exquisite plate of flavors traveling beneath the tongue, into the brain, to satisfy the heart

But time did not stop

And now you are gone for me, though I was gone for you before  

And I breathe you every day

And I love you every second

But now, perhaps, 

it's time to love and be loved again



V


April 8, 2012

inviolate






this

residual adoration that besmirches my dreams and depraves my reason

a transitory love, an unfading infatuation

dainty desire to submerge in a subconscious…

no sight is ever so illusive and yet so intimate


faceless, skinless

it is holding hands, inadvertently


a common idea, common friends, a mutual end… 

a world apart

a reciprocal relationship between intruders

the morbid satisfaction of a solitary game played by two


(his ghosts are my loot)


to each letter, to each tune… my estranged surrender

a misty love born in darkness, yet unremitting

... it's carved my heart

this love that I’ll betray





April 17, 2011

deep



That afternoon, he smiled and said: “I want to show you something.”


As we walked, he told me a story


He knows I like it when he tells me stories of pretty girls and violent deaths... His voice soothes me


He began, “you never know what you can find behind a door...


"It is always wise to stay outside lest you find yourself in the cold company of your worst fear.”




The sun was setting. Soft rays of light fought to reach us through the swaying branches


The forest loved us and welcomed our presence every Fall by raining golden leaves on us


I didn't know where he was taking me; I stopped paying attention to the road when he held my hand


-You know you love someone when you don't care about getting lost. Being lost seems somehow impossible when you are with each other-






“...but, like You," -he continued, poking my nose- "she was too curious for her own good and, discarding every warning, she entered the old door...


“Before her eyes, the most monstrous scene she could ever think of: Her own death. 


"In the center of the dark room, a canvas of immense proportions. It was beautifully painted by the masterful -and bloody- hands of her lover. His corpse was laying next to his masterpiece.”



The shadow of a smile crossed his face. “This is it.”


We were at the same river we both knew well but in a spot I had never been at before.


It was a beautiful green river... Large, deep, fast. We used to lay by it and speak of the wondrous creatures that (improbably) inhabited the depth of its waters.


“How far do you dare to go?”


He took off his shoes and offered me his hand. “Come with me”


The water was cold


He was no longer smiling. His eyes were fixed in mine.


My feet soon lost touch with the bottom of the river and I felt its current pulling me down...


Without saying a word, I closed my eyes... The peace of letting yourself go.


It was then when I felt his hand grab mine stronger and pull me towards him.


Once out, he stared at me, as in deep wonder: “You could have died. Are you willing to let me do this to you?”

“No." I smiled. "I'd die for you but I wouldn't let you kill me. Have you ever wondered why I love you?”

"Because I'm pretty?" he teased.

“...because it doesn't matter how deep you take me, you wouldn't let me drown.”

“We could have both drowned...”

“Such is love.”





April 10, 2011

crowded






My feelings were for long of my own

I felt alone

I felt unique

but they came with all their mirrors

I feel crowded

I feel raped

I can't find myself anymore









January 20, 2011

ours




The world is Ours to burn

he the fire, me the wind that swirls & fuels

we annihilate the ordinary

we dance in clouds of ash

our music, you’ll breathe

we’re the light at the end of your sanity

in our sweet devastation's darkness

you will finally see


Go mad, everyone, go mad!

be as crazy as we are

...and exist again

feel the wind in my eyes

suffer the red of his heart

die sweetly by our hands

...and exist again

eternally

on fire





January 19, 2011

frozen





a picture can be what it takes for a heart to tremble 
and a world to shake

an instant flies by and future finds me lost in pixels

drowning in a river of shades like that mighty horse on quicksand

Brightness&Contrast reach out for my memories...

strike them against the walls of my skull

it is my blurred vision of you behind the glass...


a moment that should be forgotten, frozen in time

I cannot tear you into shreds 


but I close you 

forever 

as I close this tab



October 2, 2010

boundless





she threw herself at the Universe
and drifted away
among the stars

freedom invaded her soul
boundless landscapes
Unicorns
made of Cosmic dust

she danced
motionless
to the song of galaxies
vibrating eternally

alone she was
but ever felt so warmly embraced

eyes closed
happiness gripped her by the throat
as a black hole shattered her body
into a zillion pieces of stardust