i want it all

all I want is You

I close my eyes and see your ghost

even when I kiss them, 


I close my eyes to dream~ Because

it is You trespassing my eyelids~ Because

it is You taking me beyond

I wish you'd drag me to your abyss and kiss me til I burn

~~

...how does it feel? 

How does it feel to be a goddamn King in a forbidden realm?

what I want is the grip of Your hands 

long fingers, like snakes, wanting to devour me

wanting to creep along my body-scratch it-hurt it...

...inflict the sweetest pain a woman could ever feel

I want your guns

your precious monsters

I want your darkness

your anger

your coldness

your sweetness

your fucking dont's...

I want it all 

                

heaven in hell

So I’m that borderline between heaven and hell...

It scares you that I dare

to write you out and cut the fragile thread that keeps you sane

There's no greater abyss than that which separates your thoughts from your words~

you speak because you know-I know what you are thinking when you hush

But I can feel the goosebumps raising in your skin when you hear my voice 

across the silence of distance

But there’s your sight running away at night

much too scared of seeing me in the stars~

and there’s the cornered chaos of your mind foretelling you a storm

yet craving for its twist~

and there’s your body forever enslaved by my whims

In Your Nightmares, I’m Your Dream

              

junkies

now we are safe, it is OK to pretend the fear is gone

now we cannot touch each other, it is fine to outwit the distance

like Souls that crave to submerge in the Sea

but wait for the waves to draw back before walking towards the water

we blow open the stitches of our wounds on purpose 

and bleed out hope

as if we were unable to live without pain

or perhaps pretending we cannot live without each other

the walls of Time keep closing on Us

mocking at our inability to move, 

as they tighten

we are just deathlines junkies

            

ahead and beyond

My steps on the sand, still humid, leave a mark that vanishes with time.


Once strong and deep, my footprints are now forgotten in the Past, removed by the many waves that crash onto the shore.


Same water that washes my feet. Same water that washes the sand so I can make new prints as I move forward.


Turning back makes no sense. I want new, I want fresh. I want ahead.


Sun hides, in red flames, behind the ocean. It looks ashamed, like a coward, as if it wanted to put out its fire.


But I know the truth.


Sun refuses to shine on the same reality twice. It moves and keeps its flames for a new Present.


I remain in its Past but I am also its Future.


The greens of the Mountain contrasts and compete with the blues of the Sea. Mountain cradles the beach. It is its mother just as well as its enemy.


At the strike of Rain, a vomit of dirt comes down the Mountain to die on the beach, poisoning it.


I can hear its terrifying roar as I walk.
I can feel the waves foretelling the intoxication, preparing to fight back.
I can see the Sun attempting to hide it all by taking away its Light.


It all happens around me, and it all happens inside of me.


Nature is at war. And so I am.


Only the Stars will bring us peace. Or a truce.


The Ocean will rise with the Moon, and fiercely sway, back and forth, to cleanse itself.


A cleaner ocean, a cleaner mountain, a cleaner sky. Nature is wise.


Soon, I will no longer care about my footprints. I’ll look up and a shooting star will make me forget that I am walking. Even that I am on Earth.


I will become everything I see, once and for all.


My soul, set free by the starred dark, will too fly wiser after the war.




V

empathic

I can feel You. When you laugh, when you cry inside... 

It's so pleasant, It's so painful

I feel them all. It is why I sometimes prefer to be alone

See, it just comes to me. I'm helpless before so many sensations, 

left to learn which are theirs and which my own

I'm too often overwhelmed. It becomes hard to speak

When I take someone in, those I pick, very carefully indeed, 
it's because they are songs: Harmony of Chaos singing to my soul

They aren't a few. So many wonderful creatures have this planet
Yet, the one closer is he who rocks me stronger, inspiring all my words

Your Voice, so easy to identify; your feelings come to me in gales of pleasure and joy and pain and anger and passion, 
and make me want to dance

Amidst the chaos, You are the one who owns my heart




                    

whim of my dreams

 No words to describe how inconceivable you are

I think of you and watch the Sea evaporate in form of nails

bursting the clouds, bleeding snow over infinite deserts 

You are a whim of my dreams,

irresponsible nightmares begging to stop being stones in my way

My fantasies do not hesitate,

they want to follow you

my skin longs to get rid of me and run toward your purple haze

... ignorant soul of mine, claiming to own your kiss

No dream was ever so beautiful

But no dream was ever so impossible to be

                                                     

Arise

If I am beautiful to your eyes, as long as I don’t move

If I am smart to you only when I’m in silence

If you can't draw my face but when your eyes don’t see me

If my presence is too much for you to handle

I don’t want you. I quit needing you.

My fantasies are the Sea in which you’ll drown

My skin will be a long forgotten tumb in your cemetery

Our playful Passion will become cold wax of dullness, 
covering you entirely

The map of your lips, made by mine, will fly in pieces 
as you break down